No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
