you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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