suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
