put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
