Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
