It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Never underestimate the power of titties
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