Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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