I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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