i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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