Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
