Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
