who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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