you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
