What did we do last night that was yellow?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
