Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
