you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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