you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
