Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
