At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just invented taco cereal.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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