I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
