Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
