Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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