I puked a lego.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she smelled like a LAN party
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
