Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
