So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
