Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
