plz talk dirty to me
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
