Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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