I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You just made me feel so damn special
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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