I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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