Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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