i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
