No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
