Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
