Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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