i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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