Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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