At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
