Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
someone owes me an orgasm
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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