The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
