Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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