the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
