So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She bit a glass in half.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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