just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
