Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
