So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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