If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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