Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
