Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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