Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
