So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
