We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize